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Hello. Hi.

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eeeeeeesh

it’s been a loooong time since i’ve been here.

I feel overwhelmed at how much I have neglected this space, and how much catch up I need to play, the last I even batted an eyelid over here was August 2017 — I realised pretty quickly that I wasn’t as ready as I thought to get a camera back in hand and continue documenting families (one of my loves!)…and the next few months to follow were to be some of the biggest i’d face, i’m so glad I put down what needed to be put down to be where I needed to be and go through the motions of mummying a baby and a toddler, grieving the loss of my darling niece and beautiful nan, and growing yet another bubby in my belly, and birthing him, and adjusting to a family of five..

In the big scheme of things, being [WIFE &] MUM is and always will be my first duty over and above anything else. It is a joy (and lets admit wonderfully hard work) to serve my children, and while I have had my hands full (quite literally) I have still grabbed my camera to freeze some of the magic in our crazy wonderful mundane days together ha!… and I’m so excited to get a camera in my hand again and freeze some of the magic of family for you to treasure too!

sooo…. HELLO AGAIN! i’m so excited for this.

You can consider the below picture of my three, the fullstop on this post :) i’ll be back soon!

much love,
X

 
 

Mother's Day 2017

'This job [of motherhood] has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness'. - Elisabeth Elliot

when she turned ONE !

need to document that time my girl turned one. 

365 days to the second. one of the most deepest and treasured moments of my existence...

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. Colossians 1:16

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she's TEW!

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' how many are you turning? '

'TEWWW!'

two years ago, I pulled you up into my arms for the very first time. it felt like a lifetime of waiting for that moment. and I was in disbelief that all chubby, squishy, cuddly, 10 pounds of you were in my arms. your daddy had tears streaming down his face and the biggest smile ever. I will never ever ever ever forget that moment, and every one of your birthdays is the sweetest reminder of it. 
and here you are, all of two years old and my heart is so full it might just burst. God has blessed us so much with the gift of you. your sparkle lights our world. I love you Sharli Grace, more than all the stars in the sky. Happy birthday my girl xxx

 

so balloons in bed first thing in the morning of her birthday is a tradition - we learnt she loves balloons from her first birthday ----> when she turned ONE!

contentment.

been thinking on this for so long... it's not exactly a natural thing. and i've been so spurred on lately about learning this good thing. contentment. my discontent came to light via social media. i use to think my war with social media was that social media was the problem, but really its an issue with me and my lack of contentment. 

social media, can sometimes be treated like our treasure. i've been wrestling with this for the better half of the last year or so. it's so easy to get caught up in unnecessary things; like 'likes', or feeling that pressure to ensure everybody knows you're living your 'best life', or struggling to keep up appearances, or not feeling like a moment is real unless its shared for everybody to see, comparing - comparing - comparing and then there is coveting. eeeek. now thats a word that we never hear anymore. but it's a real struggle. 

so with all that said, social media isn't the root. we are. and our discontent.
social media isn't where my treasure is found. its not where our treasure should be. 

i'm so encouraged by the words of Paul in the bible:

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:11-13 ESV   

this doesn't just apply to social media, thats just where it fully came to light for me... but this applies to every area of our lives. its encouraging to know that contentment can be learned and it also implies that contentment doesn't come naturally.  

unthankfulness is a big root. as Jeremiah Burroughs* says 'what a foolish thing is this, that because i have not got what i want, i will not enjoy the comfort of what i have!'. 

i love the thought of 'setting one against the other'. The Bible says in the 7th chapter of Ecclesiastes, the 14th verse, 'in the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.' 
Jeremiah Burroughs says 'when you are in prosperity, then indeed every man can be joyful, but what if afflictions befall you, what then? Then consider - consider what? 'that God has made the one as well as the other'; you have a great deal of affliction, and you have a great deal of prosperity, you have many troubles, and you have many mercies: make one column of mercies, and one column of afflictions, and write one against the other, and see if God has not filled one column as full as the other. you look altogether upon your afflictions, but look upon your mercies also.'

lay your discontents against what you do have, and let contentment have victory.    

so this is my labour, not to find treasure in things that will perish. 'but rather upon those things that may stir up thankfulness to God for his mercies'. His goodness. 

 

* 'The Rare Jewel Of Christian Contentment' Jeremiah Burroughs

It's hard work.

motherhood. 

Its the one thing I always wanted to do, and the one thing I didn't know was really all I wanted to do!  

But it's hard work. the most fruitful hard work and the most joyous hard work. but hard work! 

Some days I actually have no idea what I'm doing. And some days....

are a breeze.

today wasn't. Ha. but you'd think it was by these sweet shots... 

 

34 weeks

this very day, two years ago I was 34 weeks pregnant with my Sharli girl. 

i have never wanted anything more than I wanted to have a bubby. Little did I know I was carrying a girl. Felt like I waited a lifetime to be carrying her. 

i will forever treasure this photo. 

 

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also be kind.

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Grandma once told me, whilst holding my 10 week old Sharli: 'be consistent, let your no be no, but also be kind'.

consistency is hard work. especially when your almost 2 year old is discovering her independence. 

kindness is hard work. especially when you're fed up with whinging.  

and ive been learning to choose what is worth saying 'no' to.

oh but the rewards of hard work are always good. and this morning was like a sweet joy in amongst all the consistency, no's, and kind discipline.

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Ziah's Birth Story

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and then a bear was born...
11th October 2016.

birth, the second time round, is so different to the first. 
i treasure these photos. because it all went so fast! before i knew it, i had my little bear in my arms. 

i never want to forget walking through my contractions, up and down the hospital halls, hand in hand with Phil

i never want to forget knowing that with each contraction i breathed through brought me closer to meeting my little man. 

oh that first moment i saw him. that i will never forget. that familiar feeling of pulling him up onto my chest and embracing all 8 pounds of him. 

i didn't know that i could love another, just as much as my first. that initial love, i won't ever forget. 

i never want to forget those first few hours together. just me and him. starring at him and smooching him. 

oh when Sharli first met her little brother. my heart skipped a beat, and i'll forever remember that. 

all the first cuddles. and second cuddles. and third... fourth... fifth...

that tiny nose. 

tiny lips. 

teeny fingers and toes.

its all too much for my mummy heart. 

 
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Sharli's Birth Story

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a koala was born. 
5th May 2015. 

i have never been more ready for anything than giving birth to my Sharli girl. she entered into our worlds ablaze in all her 10 pound, 5 ounce chubbiness. 

 

i'll never forget turning to Phil. tears streaming down his face. and the biggest smile. 
I'll never forget the moment i learned my baby was a GIRL. 
i'll never forget that feeling of relief.  
i'll never forget pulling her up onto my belly. the heart explosion. it was all too surreal. 
i'll never forget her newborn purple/pink/creamy newbornness. 
I'll never forget the colour of her hair. 
i'll never forget holding her, staring at her, unable to process it all. 
I'll never forget how unbelievably tired i felt. the exhaustion levels were at their all time high.
i'll never forget that first night with her, pulling her into bed beside me, cuddled up all spooned next to me and stroking tiny hairs on her head, down to her tiny tiny button nose and her round full cheeks. all i wanted to do was sleep. i needed to sleep. but i just couldn't believe she was there, lying next to me, and i couldn't stop staring at her. 
God had truly blessed me.